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February 14th, 2010
09:06 AM ET

Online matchmaking work for you?

On this Valentine's Day, we're taking a look at at the do's and don'ts of online matchmaking. I just interviewed James Houran of Onlinedatingmagazine.com.

What are your thoughts on online matchmaking services? Has one worked out long term for you or someone you know?

By the way, here's a related CNN.com story from last year that says matchmakers were thriving in the economic slump.


Filed under: Josh Levs
soundoff (10 Responses)
  1. bdawg

    online matchmaking has been a big waste of time and money for . Very little success with them.

    February 14, 2010 at 9:34 am |
  2. Eric

    Online dating makes it difficult to find a good match.

    February 14, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
  3. Daniel Jones

    I am in a very successful relationship that began online. It works, but with some caveats.

    Websites that specialize in matchmaking are relatively ineffective. Instead, find a niche website where people post that have common interests. If you have pets, you might want to find a pet related forum. If you garden, post in a gardening forum.

    Don't rush. Relationships take time. Really good relationships mature gradually into even better relationships.

    Be safe. Posting a photo of yourself is acceptable but be VERY careful before sharing details of your family situation. This especially applies if you have children.

    Learn to use online tools such as Skype, instant messenger services, and email to communicate. In the end, it is all about communication.

    Don't expect perfection. We all have flaws and anyone you meet whether online or in person will be imperfect. Do expect to find someone who feels so comfortable to be with that you can talk for hours without feeling stressed or pressured.

    Don't overdo sex interplay online. There should be some sexual attraction but it should not overwhelm the more important parts of building a relationship.

    The best estimate I've seen is that 25% of all marriages today started online. Most of them do NOT start on dedicated dating websites.

    February 14, 2010 at 5:42 pm |
  4. Mark and Amber Levings

    I believe that it actually depends on what you're actually looking for in a relationship. Some individuals are not on there for the right reasons, therefore, they are the ones not finding a lasting relationship. At first, I was a skeptic but then I met my best friend, the love of my life, who is now my husband, on E-Harmony over a year ago. I wouldn't change a thing!!!!!!!!

    February 14, 2010 at 6:48 pm |
  5. trilo

    I met my husband 4 four years ago through online dating. We have been married a year.

    February 14, 2010 at 6:56 pm |
  6. Sara

    I am in a wonderful relationship with a man I met online on a (free) dating website 16 months ago. I think the reason people have problems with relationships started online is that they go about it the wrong way.

    I would like to respectfully disagree with Josh on the photo. I would not use a photo of myself as I would dress for a date. Instead, I use a photo that expresses who I am. In my case, I used a photo of myself in very casual (and modest) clothes holding a two day old baby goat. In my profile I talked about my hobby of goat showing. This was because I wanted to make sure that anyone interested in me knew that the goats came along with the deal. The picture was a good picture of me, but not a great picture. My boyfriend thought I was pretty from the picture, but when we met in person, he was impressed that I look much better in real life.

    In this relationship, we communicated through the site for a couple of days, and then I gave him my IM screen name. We chatted daily on instant messenger for a couple of weeks before we decided to make phone contact and he gave me his cell number. We talked every evening for another couple of weeks before making the decision to meet in person. We met in a public place, and the rest is history.

    We have a very stable relationship that is built on a good foundation of communication. In any relationship good communication is more important than sex.

    February 14, 2010 at 9:03 pm |
  7. john sudic

    I met my Nilda at 4marks.com a christian site because I got tired of the sex me date me sites! We will marry in may this year after waiting a year to sort the fiannce visa through the useless INS! The site is only a good as you are so if you have scum ideas you will loose in the end for both. Be a christian and go about it accordingly ,be good that is!

    February 15, 2010 at 12:45 am |
  8. Joe Strummer

    The process of meeting people online is completely reversed from the process of meeting someone in person as the first contact.

    All the potential deal breakers are laid out in plain sight e.g. differing preferences like wanting children or political views, religion etc. I have met woman in real life before who were absolutely mesmerizing by charisma, the voice, smell humor, the way they move. Had I seen a small photo of them online though, I would have immediately dismissed them. So much of a person does not come over by looking at photos and reading a profile.
    I know couples who met in real life who would have never ever contacted each other, were they on dating website.
    The chemistry/attraction with another person meeting in person as the first contact makes all these non-matching characteristics very insignificant.

    That, I believe is the only real downside to online dating. Other than that it is a great opportunity to find happiness.

    February 15, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
  9. Regular reader

    My husband and I met on a match making website in 2002. We were pretty sure about what we wanted before we put up our profiles and gave enough information on our profiles to paint a pretty good picture. We described our lifestyles, likes and dislikes, and other general information to the point that the reader could make a reasonable determination of our personalities. We've now been married for 6 years, and know many other married couples who met online either through the same or similar matchmaking websites, or through other online message boards.

    February 15, 2010 at 6:16 pm |
  10. Tammy Bostick

    Let me Just Share this comment concerning the Mayor and the Good People of Las Vegas Nevada. The Mayor and the People in Las Vegas are Some Good People.

    February 19, 2010 at 10:46 am |