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September 26th, 2010
07:15 AM ET
Dads Connect on the Internet
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Post by: Filed under: CNN Newsroom • Josh Levs • Reynolds Wolf |
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So a segment on stay-at-home dads starts with someone saying, "Fortunately, we haven't been turned into stay at home dads just yet." I can see this is going to be good...
Don't get me wrong, Josh, the piece itself was good, but between the guy on your left talking about his kids killing each other while watching Dora, and the guy on your right being the caricature that he is, the message you were trying to convey was lost. Shame.
By the way, like many other stay-at-home fathers, I didn't lose my job, but chose to stay home to take care of my children for the same reason many mothers choose to stay home. I can't say exactly why the other two were so dismissive and offensive, but my guess is that it has something to do with projecting their own fears about other people redefining masculinity.
I'm a 9-5er still but I think the daddy blogging that I do afterwork is great and very supported by dads who are both 9-5 and SAHD.
its great community!
I consider myself very lucky to be a work-at-home dad who drops his kids off at school, picks them up, and gets to help with homework. Even so, I find that society at-large still has a hard time, at times, being supportive of dads as primary care givers for their children.
For example, at a Target Superstore last year, a clerk wouldn't let me go into a dressing room to help my eight-year-old daughter try-on clothes, even though mothers were allowed to accompany their children.
The unspoken accusation was "The only reason a grown man would want to got into a dressing room with a little girl is because he's a molester." The manager said it was "policy." I had to take the fight all the way to the corporate offices to get the policy changed.
I agree – this was not the positive piece that it could have been and we caregiver dads would have liked it to be.
That said, the dismissive attitudes displayed by the co-hosts in the lead-in are a perfect illustration of the bias that we face every day as fathers who are playing the role of primary parent.
Dads that take care of kids must be unemployed (read: unemployable). Taking care of kids means preventing them from tearing each other apart (because that's what kids do?). The co-hosts were almost choking on their lines – they were so uncomfortable.
What is it about dads choosing to do what mothers have traditionally done that can so ruffle the feathers of some men? And women?
Seems to me we have a long way to go before we can be whatever kind of men we want to be and be recognized as men for choosing that role.
Josh Levs makes a good effort to get some positive parenting information into the media. My thanks to him.
Drew Griffin leaves a lot to be desired as a proponent of good fathering. If he prefers the portrayal of fatherhood -his most important role in life- to be Homer Simpson or Al Bundy, I sincerely hope CNN removes him from all projects involving parents.
I'm not a stay-at-home father. I spend my days away from home and family working as an executive in a large automotive company. I treasure the time I get with my young son. And I'll be darned if the impression he gets of fatherhood and my role as a man is defined by attitudes like those exhibited by Drew Griffin.
I think a bigger issue here is that not all the dads interviewed were stay at home dads. I am not. I work full time, I take care of my kids and wife and then I blog at night after they are all asleep. I'm an active dad who started blogging to help clarify my ideas raising a child with a disability and to get other ideas to help. From there I realized that there are a lot of great men out there and Media tends to portray us poorly. This clip and our interview with Josh was great, but there are valid points here about Drew Griffin's lead in and it's a shame that the focus was not portrayed more broadly as a changing generation of dads which it really is reflecting vrs. the SAHD angle.
Was excited to view this video, but wasn't a big fan. The CNN guys belittled the piece before it began. Also, I think we need to start decoupling dads connecting online and stay-at-home dads. The trend is that dads (overall) are spending more time with their kids and are using the internet to find better ways to do so.
I agree with what the other Dad's had to say here. I'm a working father as well, unfortunately. Yes, I said, "Unfortunately". I'd much rather be home with my children than working for someone else.
The problem with some of the views expressed here is that they come from weak people. These are the same people that focus on being a "Real Man" instead of a "Real Dad". Being in touch with your emotions and actually showing your children you love them is what a "Read Dad" does. Wanna be a "Real Man"? Go back to not having children.
The media loves to display Dads as some caveman type of individual who's happy at home as long as he has a TV and a beer in front of him.
The reality of this whole situation?? It's not some Co-Host on a News Station that gets to decide who and what a Dad is, it's us Dads. Watch out people we are not small in numbers and whether you want to believe it or not there's more Real Dad's out there than you think!
Whether it's mum or dad isn't really the point. Someone staying at home to raise the kids is what really matters.