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November 18th, 2011
07:23 PM ET
Changing the Dialogue on Date Rape
Brooke Baldwin talks to Bergen Baucom about her documentary and her efforts to educate people on some misconceptions regarding date rape. Baucom, who says she was raped by a friend in college, relates that women are trained to be aware of strangers and that she never suspected that someone close to her would sexually assault her.
Thanks to Ms. Baucom for sharing her story. As a victim of an(unreported) acquaintance rape myself while in college as well as a concerned mother with a daughter who's in HER freshman year in college, I agree that this topic needs much more attention, and that the perpetrators should be the main focus. Unfortunately, I feel that attitudes have not changed much over the decades since my experience!
I personally know this young lady and she has displayed tremendous courage and growth since this happened to her. She has turned around what could have been a defeating devastating experience to a positive growing experiece and is now willing to share what happened in an effort to help others. That takes real courage!!
I'm so sorry for what this young woman endured at the hands of her perpetrator and through the "counsel" of her friends. Even the people whom you expect will be the most supportive after an experience like this often say ill-informed, callous and sometimes unbelievable things. After my victimization (an alcohol-facilitated rape), I was told by the detective assigned to my case: "Drunk people have sex all the time." My hope is that we can begin to really change perceptions about the issue of sexual assault. Kudos to Ms. Baucom for her courage and resolve.
I was date raped when I was 16. It was the first real date I had ever been on. I was very naive! This boy was very mature for his age and very immature in other ways. He, of course, told me he loved me. I was thrilled!! Many other girls wanted to date him! He picked me!! What an idiot I was!! We got a burger for dinner, then he rode me around and showed me some houses he liked. I wasn't familiar with the roads we were on. Finally he pulled into a dead end road with a lovely house at the end. He stopped about half way down the road. We talked awhile. I thought he was sharing very private thoughts with me! Then he got out of the car and walked a little ways behind the car. It was dark I could see nothing. I assume now he was putting I a condom. Once back in the car, he pulled me around in the seat and began to push me back. I immediately began to say no! He paid no attention to me. It was like I was no longer a person to him. He spread my legs even though I was resisting him. Then he proc weed to take me. I was a virgin and I bled on the car seat. Later he was in a rage because I had. The car belonged to his Father. I didn't care! He drove me home without a word. I tried to behave as though nothing unusual had happened. He later told me I sure had not acted like a virgin! He pulled into my driveway and told me to get out! I entered into my house and continued to act like everything was normal.My parents were in the bed, so I quietly bathed and went to bed. I never told anyone until I had teenage daughters of my own and a teenage son. I was so worried it would happen to them! I prayed and worked on forgiving myself. I then forgave him. It released me from the trauma!! I pray you all will forgive yourselves also! I never felt like it was my fault. I just wished my Mother had talked to me about these things!
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