CNN's Randi Kaye talks to The Trevor Project about suicide and teen bullying.
Yes, it is important to have programs for the bullied, but more programs and more research is not the answer. We must attack the actual cause of bullying and nip it in the bud. What is the root of bullying? Kids hear their parents use derogatory comments about oversized people, gays and lesbians and people of other colors and cultures. So, kids go to school and use these derogatory comments on their classmates who are different from them. The next kid thinks "oh yeah, Ive heard this at home too," and joins in on the taunting. And the next kid thinks " oh I have NOT heard this at home but my friends are thinking this way and i want to be accepted so I'll go along with them. This is what the problem is. this is what needs to be changed. We must teach tolerance, not just to the kids, who are then getting double messages, but to the parents. These parents may be kind loving people who love their kids. They may not realize that their biases are affecting the way their kids interact I school. They may be teaching their kids to be kind and respectful to their parents, siblings and teachers but they must also teach them to be tolerant of people who are not like them. They must be taught to reach out to people who are not like them, to offer them help when they are I trouble, to offer friendship. This is where we must put our efforts...into teaching the parents and other adults who interact with children. We must work together to become a tolerant people. This is the world today. It is diverse and it is not going to change. We must pull together and learn to be a kinder more caring and tolerant America.
I agree. Kids learn from their parents that it is ok to hate others. We have to start with the adults if we are to end bullying. Not only that, the false idea that bullying is just something kids do and is harmless has got to be changed.
My daughter attempted suicide in April at the age of 12 due to bullying. We had gone to the school and gave names and did everything we as parents were told to do by the school and her doctor. The school failed to protect her in a 45 minute verbal assault and she came home that day and attempted to end her life. Thank GOD one of her friends that she sent out the mass text to saying goodbye forever responded to her and convinced my daughter to tell me what she had taken. The mother of the little girl called me as I was getting into the ambulance with my daughter. I will forever be grateful to the one little girl who wanted my daughter to live. Now my daughter is being bullied again at school and they are still not doing anything to protect her. These bullies should be kicked out of school. Why should I have to figure out a way to pay for private school or move due to the bullies? Their parents should have to worry about that, not the victims. I now am speaking with a lawyer and going forward with charging the school and the bullies. Maybe that will open the eyes of these bullies and or their parents to teach them that this is wrong. My daughter is the only white girl in her class and there are 3 white boys in her class. Not only is she bullied for her looks she has been told she is a marsh mellow trying to fit in with Hershey kisses.
Jullzz, you need to do what is best for your child. You may have the heart to fight these bullies but your daughter does not. I understand your anger in the way that the situation is being handled. It may be best to let your lawyers and health services counselors advise you and your daughter. The bottom line is you must do what is best for your daughters health.
this is really pathetic that now a day suicide case increasing.
I don't understand where are the parents of this kids when them commit suicide ,they don't have any interaction,time to talk with them, let them know how special they are ?how beautiful they are? I raise three children by myself and I let them know how special they were,how beautiful they were,......this childrne are lonely and suffer alone the bullies are taking over them, and they don't have not one to alk not even their parents how sad! bullies should end in jail for EVER!
It not matters what color you are or what culture you have, children should be loved and respected by the others ,and that comes from the parents ,they hear the parenst talk bout racism and they learn to hate ! I know I saw many parents telling kids bad mouthed othe rcultures and other races.......
I am shocked at how children act. With the suicide rate rising among our child parents should speak to there kids not only about being bullied but being a bully. I cant imagine that a child would want the death of classmate weighing on them the rest of there lives. There should be more laws in place to protect children. Lord knows I will do everything in my power to protect my child even if that means I go to school with her all day. Esra that is awful. Its terrible that your father said that. Its never a waste of time to protect your child
Maria, a parent can tell their kid a million times that they are beautiful but if they hear from one kid at school that they are ugly then that's what they will believe.
It does sometimes start with a role model like a parent, but mine isn't much of one cuz of their racism to people, but I know the difference between good and bad treatment.
it is so sad that young people have to kill themselves over this...and how they treat each other...so awful
I agree with Dr. Seifert's thoughts. Our dictirst is working to implement the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program even as I write this. Two reactions as I read the article: 1.) having a common definition of bullying is essential for any meaningful effort to change behaviors and culture. Most definitions (including Olweus') include the following characteristics ongoing, agressive, purposeful behavior where an imbalance of power or strength (physical, verbal, emotional) exists. This distinguishes bullying from teasing, rough play, fighting, or general conflicts; 2.) it's important that we try to label the behavior, not the person. We're working on identifying the student who bullies' (not the bully') or the student who was bullied' (not victim'). While it may seem like semantics, it's the behavior that should be the focus, and naming the behvior helps maintain that focus.
It is so pathetic that goverment is not taking any action, I'm of the opinion that parents need to step into action. Make sure you know your child very well. Get to know their performance with school grades and if the child is involved with school activities. When your child is getting lay back on grades and activites, keeping to themselves, keep asking whats going on, mind you the child will not tell you, but you have to find do everything possible to make them happy first, then they will start talking. Go to school and let the principal know about it, trust me, some principal will act while some will not act. I changed my girl school and she liked her present school. The parents need to cut overtime and any other distraction. Just to stay focus with these kids. The bills issue that we all got into in this country is taking us away from family.
I get bullied at work and I am in the military. No ability to bring up the issues through chain of command because everybody knows each other. No ability to file a complaint because my boss is in "tight" with his superiors and when they become aware of complaints, they open up to tell my boss about it. Matter of fact, my peers and subordinates know more about investigations that have my name implicated than I know about it myself. I thought of committing suicide because of all the drama and the threats of my career ending. Because I'm not in the "club" or "well liked" and assumed to be whatever they think I am, I have become a monster in my own mind. I feel useless, unappreciated, and I know it ties into a lack of good management skills of my leaders and them only listening to people who they feel are "worthy" rather than talking me at all; except to yell at me or berate me. I never endured so much career killing and sniping in my whole time in the military until the last 4 years of my enlistment. There was always some, but when a bully became my boss–I was doomed.
Take that poor baby outta that school and use your lawyer money for that.....find a church school academy that will take her...most will do it for free if you can't afford it.
Jullzz, take your daughter out of that school. Move. Find another school. All of those barriers can be overcome, but you can't get her back and bullies keep trying until they're successful. They're sick, twisted losers that grow up to become unsuccessful sick, twisted losers. Your daughter will get revenge watching them live out their lives.
Children need to taught self-respect at an early age. Had this child respected herself, she would not have taken her own life!
My alter ego is Ben Franklin. I like all these comments. I felt our little troupe portraying founding fathers failed 4th graders when we tried to pull out of them the meaning of free speech. James Madison played it safe and only cautioned the kids on matters that actually gets them jailed (bomb threats at an Airport) Can you imagine? Bullying is well defined. Zero tolerance needs to be universal. Anti-bullying measures have to be supported including penalties for perps. We have let too many kids commit suicide and perps unpunished to stop this. No person old or young is an island.
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